[ i do and i don't ]

We started off by talking
about the tattoos on her back
and the bands that we both hate
and anything to make the moment last
hoping you might spend a night
to watch our feelings collide
seems like summer's just a state of mind

i'm gunna make sure we never fall apart
we're not trying hard enough
so this can last forever
do you remember. .

crashing parties just to get our drinks for free
you would touch your skirt and tell me you had nothing on underneath
but all these memories
are turning me about
you and i might never get this right
(but we're gunna have to try)
this promise was a fading dream
something to get myself to sleep
one more night of silence next to. . you

i'm gunna make sure we never fall apart
you're not trying hard enough
so this can last forever
i'll give my best shot holding onto what we've got
i need to tell her that i'm ready
whether she's ready or not
ready or not, or not
well are you ready or not?
(are you ready or not, i'm ready, i'm ready)

we tried, too hard for all the walls we built up
we're fake, 'cause your slipping away
like a car on ice, we're spinning out of control
like an open wound, we need some time to heal
like a cigarette, her pleasure's worth the risk
like a crowded room, my presence won't be missed
she don't care, and it's not fair
that i can't forget you
just knowing i let you
out of my life, but i'm moving on
well, she's moving on
so i'll be gone, i'll be a million miles away
i need to see you, need to touch you
like we used to misbehave
if your picture's worht a thousand words
i'll cut open my vocal chords
one more night in silence next to you
just to spend another night with you

(girl speaking)
we say all these words, we make all these promises
but are we to know, can we really make this last?. . .forever?

i'm gunna make sure we never fall apart
you're not trying hard enough
so this can last forever
i'll give my best shot holding onto what we've got
i need to tell her that i'm ready
whether she's ready or not

[i do and i don't - ice nine kills]

[why]

why is there so much anger in a world. why is there so much anger even in a four-person family. aren't we supposed to live happily and love each other regardlessly?

[procrastinating]

i'm going to start working.





tomorrow.

oh the joys of exam time.




i also need a haircut. sigh.

[calm before the storm]

what a ride. the last 2 weeks have probably been the hardest i've ever worked all year. and finally i get a break in the action. for like a day or 2.

just yesterday my friend said to me "yo i'd rather go to school for two more months than have exams." i don't know whether to agree or not. it's like.. whether or not i want to compress 2 months of pain into 3 measly days, plus a week of studying. meh.. i'd rather just take the 3 days.. considering i have 2 months of summer and freedom afterwards! yay!

so why's the last week or two been so stressful.. i really don't know. i guess it's just the fear of imminent exams, and everything being crammed into a small amount of time.

what was really interesting were the pig dissections. like these little things weren't even born yet; only in their fetal state. and yet, you have like these organs which are almost completely identical to ours. isn't that amazing? isn't it incredible how on the outside, we're so different, yet on the inside, we work the same, and we look exactly the same. kinda makes you feel a tad vegetarian..

on the lighter side of things, euro cup and nba finals are going on. i think i'm gonna cheer for portugal and la lakers. lalaland!

anyway. back to slaving away at work.

[advertising]

today i discovered arizona green tea.



it's like a freaking orgasm drink. yum.

[from the inside]

so we all have our conflicts. we all have our arguments. we yell at other people because they did somethig wrong, or they did something stupid, or they were being an ass, whatever have you. and even then, it's not the easiest thing to solve. just going back to my last post, human feelings are really what seem to cause problems. hahaha. but i'm not ready to give those up yet just for the sake of "happiness". but anyway. as i was saying, when you fight with other people, the problem usually gets solved eventually. more or less. but how about this?

what do you do when you have a fight with yourself?

an inner conflict, you're by yourself. yeah sure it might seem easier because there's only one person to please instead of two or three or four. but really, is it? when you have that kind of fight with yourself, you don't know what you want. you don't know which part of you to please. if you did, you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. so how would deal with this?

how would you go solving this before it tears you into two?