[ update status ]

a while back, around my last blog post (which was in march break) a whole month ago, i went to something called Teens Conference. basically it's a christian gathering of teens all around to learn and hear about Christ. the conference touched me and moved me, and reminded me that though i've called myself christian for 9 years of my life, i've never been one to hold that to heart, and i've never known how to keep a fire burning. the conference i think gave me a boost in the right direction.

however, it also brought up some questions from around me. why is there religion? what is the point? how do i believe in someone/ something that i can't see, hear, or touch? more importantly, how do i know that when something happens, it's because i prayed for it and not because of some freak coincidence?

it came as a distress that i knew none of the answers to these questions. to others it may seem like i'm believing in a blind faith. to others, it seems like God is someone that i can fall on when i have nothing else. though that may be partly true, to me God is someone much more than that. christianity is not only a religion, it is a relationship between a person and God. without that relationship, it's hard to honestly call yourself a christian. it has only been recently that i learned that, and only recently that i decided to achieve that. and i'm proud to say it.

though, it's not that i don't still have questions about my own faith. i don't know everything about it; instead i'm far from completely understanding it. i still don't understand why it is that i am not encouraged to have a relationship with a non believer; i still don't understand how we justify Christians and non Christians and those who don't believe in religion. i still have many questions unanswered myself, i won't deny it.

but really it all comes back down to this. it's your own choice whether or not you believe in Him. it's your own choice whether or not you choose to question and find answers. it's your own choice whether or not you want to learn more about Christ. i've made my choice. i'm proud to say it, and i'm proud to stand by it.

amen.